Fate

I ran into an old co-worker today. I was rather surprised to see him, even more so when I found out what he was doing.

There are a lot of people that are out of work right now due to the credit market and real estate decline. I've been in the Real Estate and Mortgage industry since 1992. Regardless of how you feel about people in this industry, let me assure you there were many of us who made a decent living, but never got rich. We weren't profiting from having swindled unsuspecting homeowners. A lot of good people that worked back office jobs are out of work. Wage earners that didn't make bonuses or commission are finding it hard to get jobs in other sectors, because of the "taint" of having worked in the mortgage industry. Times are tough in general.

This particular co-worker had entered into a service job. He had been a loan officer. He never had a big book of business, but he treated his clients well, ethically and professionally. His change of circumstance was surprising. He is smart and clever and I would have expected him to move towards something more professional, a sales position perhaps. He told me about another co-worker of ours that had also changed professions, and that was surprising too.

I'm lucky that I'm able to do what I know best. I struggled to get here and had my own span of a little better than a year when I wasn't sure what my next step would be. Can we change our fate? There have been many great people that I have known throughout my career that I would like to work with again. Can I impact their fate? Change the course of their life? I hope that with the opportunities presented where I am now, that I can make positive change. I can always dream.

Me & Mickey

Way back when I was 5, I had my first encounter with Mickey. Growing up in Orange County made that a little easier than for most. Disneyland was a place we went probably once a year, sometimes more. By the time I was a teenager, I had enough of it. I would rather go to Knott's or Magic Mountain. They had "thrill" rides.

It wasn't until I was well into my 30's that I became enamored of Disney again. In 2002, we went to Orlando for 10 days. It had been over 10 years since I had been Disneyland. Walt Disney World was amazing and wonderful and tiring. Even with as much as we got to see, something was missing. We were in Orlando in October. For Christmas, we went back to Disneyland.

That was the first Christmas without Dad, so we had to do something different. We spent Christmas Eve at the park. It was beautiful and magical. I don't remember every being there around the holidays. I regained what I had lost so many years before; I became a kid again.

There are those that have a preference for Walt Disney World, but Disneyland has so many wonderful qualities, not least of which is that Walt walked here. Pirates and It's a Small World are so far superior to WDW's version. We still have Mr. Toad's Wild Ride. And we have the sub's again! Last year was the first time since 2002 we hadn't been in the park, but we did go to Downtown Disney, so I got my fix (and my pins).

I wish that I had appreciated it more while I was still living there. It truly can be the Happiest Place on Earth.

Sunday Quotes

There is no use whatever trying to help people who do not help themselves. You cannot push anyone up a ladder unless he be willing to climb himself.

Andrew Carnegie
1835-1919, American Industrialist, Philanthropist

Saturday Night Movie

Because I have Windows Vista and it's causing me no end of problems, this week's videos are dedicated to this subject.



And if you hate Windows Vista as much as I do (I have seen more blue screens of death in the last two months than I have seen in 10 years), do take a look at the parody on YouTube. OMG - any tech head should see this.

An oldie, but a goodie, from the prelaunch of Windows 98 - it couldn't happen to a nicer guy - a memorable BSOD:

FO Friday

I finished two pairs of socks this week. I finally finished Nagini. I don't know why it took me so long to get these done. I had cast on for the second sock a while ago, and never really got much beyond the cuff. However, I discovered that I had not cast on the correct amount of stitches and had to rip out what I started. I think that's what got me fired up to get these done. Besides, Round 2 of Sock Madness and the Mystic Light Shawl are both waiting in the wings, so getting these off the needles was just a nice accomplishment.


Pattern: Nagini by Gigi Silva (Momma Monkey)
Yarn: MacKintosh Yarns Chubby Sock
Colorway: Voldemort
Needles: US2

I can't say much about pair No. 2 since I was test knitting them. However, I can say that I loved the yarn and the pattern is one that had a technique that I had not tried before. The yarn was Cherry Tree Hill Sockittome in the colorway Green Mountain Madness. Here is a photo of the sole of the sock:



It really is a beautiful colorway. I think I have enough left over for a pair of fingerless gloves.

I cast on for the Mystic Light Shawl tonight, so I will have a progress photo of that next week. So far, so good.

Have a great weekend, everyone!

Favorite's

I've had very long days this week, today being no exception. So, similar to my posts over the last couple days, this post will be brief as well. I think I used up my week's blogging mojo on Monday with my Remembrance post.

One of my favorite things - sleep. Which is what I'm going to go do.

'Night all.

What's On The Needles

This week, it is yet another sock...



Noro Kureyon Sock in a basic rib. I wonder if I will be able to match up these "stripes". A bit more of a challenge.

I finished two pairs of socks over the weekend. Woohoo!

I am participating in the Mystic Light KAL and the first piece of the pattern was released today. Very cool. I'm looking forward to starting that one.

See you back here on Friday!

Thoughts for a Tuesday

I have no idea what to write because my brain is too tired. So, I will leave you with this thought...

Why is it that regardless of bred or size, puppies are so stikin' cute?

I want a puppy. Sorta. A housebroken puppy. With some obedience training.

Remembrance

Dad loved to play keepaway with me. It obviously started when I was quite young. I eventually got the hat ( photographic evidence), but he would tease me for-ev-er until I got my way. I usually did. Being daddy's little girl had certain perks.

6 years ago tonight that smile left forever, and the laughter with it. Even though the death certificate says March 26th, it was on a Monday night that I came home, went to bed and was awakened a few hours later by the call from my mother. Her words were nearly unintelligible - the gut wrenching sobs enough for me to know that he was gone.

Just a few days before Christmas, he and I had our last "real" conversation. I was in Las Vegas, celebrating Christmas a few days early with the in-laws. It was a Tuesday morning, sitting in a restaurant that no longer exists inside Treasure Island, speaking to Dad on my cell, that I knew something was terribly wrong with him and we needed to go there for Christmas.

It hadn't been in the plans. We hadn't been able to get a house sitter for the dogs. We get home, put in a day at work, pack up the Montero with dogs and luggage and head South. It's my mother's 75th birthday. She had always forbidden animals in the house. They had the run of it, except the master bedroom. We didn't know it at the time, but Dad had started throwing mini-clots. The man that could calculate a shopping cart full of groceries to the penny - for fun - couldn't figure out he had $28 in his wallet.

They would go to the hospital after Christmas - let's just get through the holidays. He hadn't been well, had had the flu. His appetite had been off. He'd be fine. I was in denial - and I should have taken him myself. They had never listened to me before; they weren't going to start now.

We headed home. There wasn't much else we could do. 3 days later, Dad was in the hospital. His idiot doctor told me, when I showed up at his office demanding an explanation, that he had already informed my brother (I'm an only child) that Dad was suffering from Alzheimer's. The doctor that was on call told me that Dad had congestive heart failure, said that because he stopped taking one of his blood thinners that he had been suffering from clotting and mini-strokes and that all we could do was make him comfortable. He probably wouldn't be with us for another 6 months. Dad's cardiologist was furious. He wanted to know why Dad had stopped taking the meds that he had prescribed. You see, 6 months earlier Dad had received an on-demand pace maker. His cardiologist said he would probably live to be 100! His General Practitioner, the one that had spoken to my brother, had removed Dad from some of his meds. Dad wasn't the one suffering from Alzheimer's, it would seem. The doctor retired from practice later that Spring. A lawsuit would have killed Mom.

That last Saturday before he passed, I insisted that my Mom go out for the day with her best friend. I would sit with Dad. I worked on my laptop, had the TV on with a show he would like. I talked to him throughout the day. He responded with nods or shakes of his head to questions I would ask. I made him lunch, that he could barely get down. Swallowing had become very difficult at this point. I spent some time working on a knitted blanket that I had started when he was in the hospital. It covers our bed now in warmer months.

That Monday when I was getting ready to leave, I told him I would be back in a few days. I knew that it wouldn't be much longer. He shook his head. I took it to mean that I shouldn't rush back. I insisted that he would see me again soon. He shook his head again. I kissed his cheek and told him that I loved him. It was at that moment that he uttered the first full sentence to me since that Tuesday morning in Vegas. The first time I knew in my heart that he saw me, that he knew who I was. "I love you too......"

Alone with my thoughts, and my tears, I retraced the path back to Southern California. I arrived back at the house, where less than 24 hours earlier my family was in tact. Like thieves in the night, the people from Hospice Care had seen to it that all traces of his illness, of his death, were removed. It was almost like a terrible dream.

Over the next few days Mom and I did what we had too. I went through papers. We met with the funeral home director. We made the necessary plans. We had the service and then we opened the house to any who wanted to stop by. My friends were wonderful that day, with one in particular who stole some older ladies hearts with his hosting skills. At the end, we toasted Dad with Norwegian Linie Aquavit. It had been a regular cargo on his ships, so it seemed appropriate.
So, tonight, I raise a glass to him in memory. I try not to think of those last few months. I would rather remember him as he was in the picture - laughing and enjoying a game of keepaway.

Sunday Quotes

It is horrifying that we have to fight our own government to save the environment.

-Ansel Adams

Saturday Night Movie

In honor of the socks I finished this week. Granted, it has little to do with Zombie's (maybe the floor show sequence?), but the colorway is Sweet Transvestite. OMG I love Tim Curry.

FO Friday

Here are the Finished Objects of the Week:


My So Called Washcloth #6
Yarn: Peaches & Creme Cotton
Colorway: Peppermint
Needles: US10.5


My So Called Washcloth #7
Yarn: Peached & Creme Cotton
Colorway: Licorice
Needles: US 10.5


Sock Madness 2 - Round 1 - Zombie
Yarn: Cosmic Fibers
Colorway: Sweet Transvestite
Needles: US1


Arizona Stole
Yarn: Interlacements Arizona
Corloway: ? Gold, Blue, Bronze & Green
Pattern taken from Barbara Walker Treasury Of Knitting Patterns - Open Honeycomb
Needles: US 17


Close up of pattern.

That's it for this week. See you next Friday!

Favorites

I'm one of the lucky ones - I have a great Mother-In-Law. From the first time I met her, she was warm and accepting. Throughout the 16+ years that I've known her, she has been supportive, understanding and shown me nothing but love. Luckily, we also share more in common than just the wonderful son that she did such an amazing job raising.

Over the last few years we've shared the joy of knitting. Last year, over Thanksgiving, we took off for a couple of hours and went to the yarn store and a couple of craft stores. It was just so wonderful to share that with someone close to me.

My Mom taught me to knit, and never picked up needles again. She'll go with me, but she has as much interest in skeins of yarn as I do shopping for pants at the mall. That's the sad thing about my relationship with my mother - we don't share any interests. None. My mother has a bit of a narcissistic streak too. She can take me from Zero to screaming in 3 sentences or less.

In less than a week, it will be 6 years since my Dad passed away. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't miss him. My Grandfather-In-Law passed away 5 months after Dad. My MIL and I have been dealing with similar issues relating to our now widowed mothers. There's another thing - our mother's are nearly the same age. Mine is 3 years younger. Dad was a couple of years older than Grandpa. Both served in WWII - Dad in the South Pacific with the English Navy and Grandpa in France with the Army. Though their backgrounds set them far apart, they got along quite well.

I came to my parents much later than most for that time. I remember a store clerk asking Dad if I was his granddaughter. He pretty much took it in stride and told me later that's the price he paid for not getting married until he was 40. Of course, it didn't help that it took 5 tries and almost complete bed rest so that I could make my entry into the world. My MIL was 20 when she had my husband. I have cousins that are older than her! Even my youngest aunt, my Mom's baby sister, is 4-5 years older than her. To me, she's always been "too young" to be a mother-in-law.

So why bring this up under "favorites"?

Maybe because right now I understand what she's going through. Her mom's not doing well and it brings back to mind what I was going through those last few months of Dad's life. I know the helplessness, the frustration, and wanting to ease their suffering. The basic inability to be able to do a damn thing about it.

Maybe it's the fact that after so many years I finally accepted her as "mom". Not a replacement to what I have, but to fill the empty spaces in my life that I would have liked to have shared with my mother.

Maybe it's because she an inspiration to me in many ways. Her strength and optimism is there when you need it. She always seems to know just what to say to give you a new or different perspective. She listens without comment or criticism.

Maybe it's just because we share some of our favorite things together. She reads this blog with regularity. And since I'm sitting at work and can't call her, at least she'll know that I was thinking about her.

I love you, Mom. It's times like these I wish we were just a few hours away.

What's On The Needles

Nothing new, I'm afraid. I finished a stole over the weekend and Sock Madness 2's Round One Zombie socks last night. You'll have to wait for Friday, unless you're on Ravelry. Hehe.

I'll flash one of the skeins of Interlacements Arizona that I used for the stole to tie you over until Friday.



The sweater for my husband is coming along.



Your eyes do not decieve you - oceans of stockinette! I had a yarn shop owner comment on the evenness of my stitches. I am a knitting machine! I'm using Rowan Yorkshire 4-ply Tweed, I guess it's close to a DK weight. The differences between fingering to DK to Sport can be a bit of a challenge for me. I'm using US6, and it's making for a very light, drappy fabric. I thought it would make a nice layering sweater. A man on the train commented on the color the other morning. Olive, or Army green was a such "man's color". He said it was one of his favorite's. There are speaks of light blue, which I think adds some interest. I will make sure that it is properly modeled by the intended user once it has been completed. I have one and a half sleeves to go.

For not having much to report, I certainly said more than I intended!

Race Relations

I watched Obama's speech today. I felt connected to him for the first time, really. I'm not condemning him, as many have, for not casting his pastor aside. After all, this pastor was very much like a family member to him.

I don't know about you, but I've been embarassed by things my family members have said. I loved my father very much, and even though I was blind to many of his faults, I knew he wasn't perfect. He was raised in a different era. My mother made comments that came, for lack of a better term, from ignorance.

True, you can't change you parents. Obama commented on his grandmother's fear of having a black man walk towards her on the street. I've heard similar comments from my mother. I have heard devote Christians comment that God had "damned" this country for it's sinful ways, and AIDs was one of God's way to punish the most grievous of these sinners. There was a man I worked with for a time that said "as a Christian" he could not support our governments efforts to give aid to Africa because he didn't want his tax money "going to people who had sex with monkeys". I asked what had happened to Christian charity? Well, that was for Christian's, of course.

I didn't speak to my best friend for 2 years because of an off-the-cuff comment he made about my husband's religion. Quite frankly, I was being very pig-headed about the whole thing and should have taken the opportunity to have a dialog on how we could agree to disagree. He is a Christian and my husband is a Buddhist. Over the years they have had long, thoughtful discussions which finally came to the conclusion they could agree to disagree.

To create change, you have to put effort into it. Perhaps Obama has had long discussions with Rev. Wright on the topic of race relations, and how it may not be as bleak as the Reverend sees it to be. Maybe they agreed to disagree. Perhaps some things should remain between a man and his pastor.

Memories

One of the last times we took our dog Heidi for a hike, this is what we got to see. This was taken at the Black Diamond Mines, part of the East Bay Regional Parks District in East Contra Costa County. In other words, it's over the hill from where I live. We were out there a few times with the dogs and hiked the trails - while the cows stared at us. Heidi was alway pretty good about staying close. She never ran off, but once her nose got the scent of something, she would stay at a spot for-ev-er appreciating and exploring all the subtle nuances. In other words, she dug in and wouldn't move. Fen had ADD and would have bounded off to try to intimidate the cows. He stayed on his leash.

I miss the hikes, though without a dog it's doesn't seem as purposeful. We saw a lot of beautiful landscape on these outings. Sundays just aren't the same anymore.

Sunday Quotes

A dog owns nothing, yet is seldom dissatisfied.

- Irish Proverb

Saturday Night Movie

I never get tired of seeing this - maybe because I see a little too much of myself in it. Enjoy!

FO Friday

The little Preemie Blanket is done. I had only two skeins of the Patons Cotton Club, but it went far enough. Used one skein for the Moss Stitch center and then mitered the corners while knitting in the round for the outside edge. I ended up being one side short when I was casting off, but luckily had some other yellow baby yarn that matched enough to finish the edge.



There is something about matching up stripes that makes you feel like a genius. I called these Ribby Goodness and, it's official, I have now knit enough socks that I no longer require instructions. The yarn is Fortissima Socka Mexiko. They fit quite well. I purchased this at Stitches West. A decent flip on stash.

The stole I started last night has made sufficient progress that it will probably be done before next Wednesday. At least I have something lined up for next week.

Favorite's

Tide pools - the shoreline - the ocean. I'm not picky as long as it's salty, moving and undulating, and there are fishies and crustaceans living in it. It's a pity the water here is so cold. I miss swimming in the ocean. I miss my summer days spent at Bolsa Chica and Huntington Beach.